Here’s my take after reading the first fifty pages of “Twilight.”
I’m going to say straight out that Stephanie Meyer writes in such a way that it’s impossible for guys to not hate the stereotypical female tween/teenager. The erratic emotions, the endless problems, just bullshit after bullshit.
Normally, while people say that voiceovers in screenplays or first-person narratives are cop-outs, I enjoy almost any voiceover or first-person narrative I can get my hands on. In this case, I despise Bella Swan and I don’t want to get inside her head. I shit on people like her. Nearly every paragraph is punctuated at the end with some form of venting her emotional bullshit (“… I found myself reveling in the aloneness instead of being lonely.” “And that was very, very stupid.” “So I shouldn’t be at all anxious to see him today.” “Clearly, today was going to be nightmarish.”) Can I just punch her in the fucking face?
And let me say this too while I’m at it: Stephanie Meyer, nothing you write about is interesting. I. Do. Not. Give. A. Fuck.
ENDNOTE: I am not reading this trash out of boredom or for shits-and-giggles. It’s one of the few Christmas presents for my wife, so get the fuck over it.
